Written by Jason’s new mom –
We were in another program for about 2 1/2 years with the possibility of another 2 1/2 year wait ahead of us when we came across a website for secondary adoptions.
We had read all the books, read blogs, did the research and were honestly a little fearful of adoption after reading it all and even more fearful of adopting a child that already presented with struggles, enough struggles to lead his first adoptive family to disrupt the adoption.
I’m not sure where anyone else stands on faith but it’s the main decision maker in our family so we prayed and left it up to the Lord. We would submit our application and if the family chose us, we would take that as a sign that this was our son.
We met our son just about a month ago and all of our fears have dissipated. So far he has not presented with a single issue that he did with his first family. He struggled bonding with his first adopted mom but has not struggled an ounce with me. He loves affection and just today asked me to hold him. This from a child who didn’t show hardly any affection in his previous home.
We realize it’s only been a month and that things could come up as he gets more and more comfortable but the fact that he’s already bonding when the books told us to expect a year without returned affection, is pretty darn encouraging!
Another perk of going thru this program was that we still got to adopt internationally but our son already knew English, making communication so much smoother. I have no doubt this contributed to our bonding! He was also initially placed in a Christian home so faith was already a huge part of his life so we are so very grateful for that. His first family laid amazing groundwork into his life!
Adoption is tough, I won’t sugar coat that! It can reveal the depth of your selfishness and control issues faster than anything I’ve ever experienced but if it’s something you feel you’re being led to pursue, I would encourage you to look into the children who need secondary adoptions! We had an amazing experience with the program and the people working in the program. They have such a heart for these kids and do their best to find the best fit for your family and the kids