Samuel joined our family a year ago. He was adopted by a wonderful family when he was 4 years old from India. His previous family that adopted him were a very strong Christian family that provided Samuel with a great outlook on life and gave him a great start in life after the orphanage. They did everything they possibly could do to try and help him. There were issues in his previous family home with over eating and not being honest and having problems with just not respecting the family as he should. At one time it was said that Samuel ate about 12 pop tarts in one sitting. Samuel came from the perfect family that gave him all the love and the help they could. For some reason Samuel resisted their love and care. I do not feel he has RAD but in his previous home he had a lot of the symptoms. At times he would get angry and act up with rages.
When Samuel came to our home we had quite a few talks about what was expected of him. In the first month or so after he came home I found him on a few occasions to stretch the truth quite a few times. He still does this from time to time and we go back to our long talks about being honest. But we have not had any problems with any RAD behaviors or over eating. He has bonded with everyone in the family and has adjusted very well to our family.
As I am sitting here writing this, Samuel joined in and read what I had written. I asked him what made his life different now than it was with his other family. Some of the things we talked about was that he has his own space now his own room that this has helped him. Also that he can eat whenever he wants has helped. And one thing Samuel said while reading this brought about a very interesting Christian view about this, only Jesus was perfect. When we think about this we can realize that no one is perfect whether it be our own biological child or an adopted child. But sometimes a second chance with another family gives the child a time to start over fresh in life. As I have told Samuel the past is the past and we need to move forward. Although Samuel is only 9, he is moving forward.
(Samuel has facial injuries from his life in the orphanage so his family has opted not to use his photo.)